If you have ever been on a LT trip or have ever talked to a student leader from one of our trips, it won’t take long for you to find out that the phrase “I don’t know, what do you think?” Is one of the most commonly used phrases by our staff. It’s frustrating to students to hear it, but it is one of the most empowering phrases you, as a youth worker, can use.
Student: “What songs should I play for worship tonight?”
Youth Worker : “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Student 2: “How many pancakes should we make for breakfast?”
Youth Worker 2: “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Student 3: “How do I recruit people to come to our outreach event?”
Youth Worker 3: “I don’t know. What do you think?”
Students have developed a mindset that there is only one “right” way to do things. We live in such a performance-driven culture that they believe that if they don’t do things right the first time, that they are an utter failure. So they are constantly asking adults around them how to do things right so they don’t fail.
Over the years we have found that by empowering students to make real decisions and using that simple phrase, “I don’t know, what do you think?” Students are empowered to influence the project and each other. And when students feel that sense of having decision making power, they begin to see that they can lead effectively.
This is a common problem in businesses around the country. A friend of mine works for IBM and he says they have an initiative of “lowering the center of gravity”. This means that they are empowering people at lower levels of the company to make decisions.
Why is it important for students or employees at IBM to be able to make decisions?Let’s consider your past in answering this question:
-When your senior pastor told you that you had to move youth group to Wednesday night instead of Sunday, how did you feel?
-When your mom made you take out the trash now, not five minutes from now, how did you feel?
-When your spouse demanded that you cancel a social event you had planned, how did you feel?
Diminished, disrespected, devalued? Likewise, when a student comes to you to ask a question, the majority of the time they have it figured out in their head already. So if you answer their question, and it’s not the answer they were thinking, they have proven to themselves that they are a failure. They knew the songs they picked out for worship wouldn’t suffice.
Empower your students, next time one of them asks a question about their leadership role say,
“I don’t know. What do you think?” And I guarantee that they will feel empowered to influence others.
Mom revels in the wonder that God has brought.
